1.Relationships are not by chance. They are specific experiences through which
we have the opportunity to grow in self-knowledge and develop the highest human
virtues such as understanding, patience, forgiveness, adaptability,
truthfulness, caring, unity and unconditional love.
2. This does not mean that there is only one person on the earth for us –
one soul mate. We might evolve and learn such lessons through a series of
relationships. Of course, we need to avoid the trap of superficial short term
relationships – in which we may be actually avoiding rather than learning
our lessons.
3. Create relationships based on mutual respect, admiration and common
interests. Although chemical attraction is also very important, without the
above, the relationship will be short lived.
4. Fill out in detail and
with total honesty our questionnaire about yourself and the soul with whom you
would like to unite your life. Become clear about yourself and about what you
want.
5. When you begin your first
meetings with a soul with whom would like to investigate the possibility of
mutually creating a Conscious Love Relationship:
a. Be
totally honest from the beginning. You want someone who wants to be with you -not
with some mask that you create.
b. Ask questions that are
important to you. Learn how the other thinks and feels about subjects that are
important to you. See what you have in common and what you do not. (It is okay
to have different interests.)
c. Remember (from the
questionnaire) the three characteristics that your love partner must absolutely
have and the 3 characteristics that he or she absolutely must not have.
(However, you might want to check and be sure these are absolutes coming from
your higher self and not your personality-based fears.)
d. Do not move forward into
sexual intimacy until you are fairly sure that you really can respect, admire
and love this person. You might not be totally sure, but at least, you should
like what you see until now. Physically intimacy without love can create
unfruitful attachments.
e. Avoid creating a
relationship with a person based on the idea that you will change the other.
This seldom works. People do not like to be changed or controlled and usually
rebel towards that effort on our part. Remember the computer adage «What
you see is what you get and what you will get – even after ten years.» We are not saying that others do not change –
but that they do not like to be changed.
f. Investigate various aspects
of your possible communication; talking, dancing, walking, nature, sports,
cinema, eating, serving others, meditating, praying, reading and eventually
making love. Discuss and share whatever gives you meaning and pleasure. This
does not mean that you need to do everything together. It is very natural for
couples to have separate activities that give each personal fulfillment.
g. After some time, discuss
your values and life style preferences. What do you believe is the purpose of
life? Do you want to have children? How would you like to live? Do you want a
social life? What do you want to do with your life? (Read what the other has
written about these subjects on the questionnaire.)
6. Remember, relationships
are not the goal of life but rather the means towards our life purpose which is
growth, self-knowledge and eventual manifestation of our inherent divine
qualities such as unconditional love.
a. Relationships do not give
us self-worth and we do not lose our self-worth when someone prefers not to be
with us or prefers to be someone else.
b. We are not intended to be
with just anyone. We have made «secret soul agreements» to learn
and grow with specific souls.
c. Thus, we might be wonderfully
(and all uniquely are) physically and mentally attractive, but if we have not
made this «secret soul agreement», then we simply will not be
attracted to each other.
d. Thus the other might
respect, admire and truly admire and love us (or we, them) but not be able to
"feel that special chemistry", because we simply are not meant to be
together. We too might feel the same dilemma in relationship to the other.
e. Thus we should never feel
rejection when a relationship with another does not work out. Our self-worth
and beauty are the same. We simply have not agreed to be together at this time
– at least.
7. Avoid falling into the
following mental traps:
a. Believing that you are
not worthy of being loved.
b. Believing that you are
getting too old and that you have lost the train or are less worthy or less
happy than those who are married or in relationships.
c. That you will definitely
be happier in a relationship – maybe yes – maybe no.
d. That time is running out
to have a child. If your life purpose is to have and raise a child, it will
happen. If it is not, then it will not. Let go and realize that life gives at
each moment exactly what you need to be happy and to evolve. Fear is not a good
reason to create a relationship. Love is.
8. You are most likely not
in a relationship at this time, because you subconsciously do not want to be in
one. Think about it. There are so many millions of people who are less
attractive and less kind and loving than you are and yet, they are in
relationships. Thus the reason you are not in one is either:
a. Your soul-created
evolutionary program for this life requires that you should not have that
experience until now - at least for this during this period of your life and /
or
b. You are subconsciously
afraid of one or more of the following: failure, rejection, suppression, being
used, abandonment, being hurt, not being loved if the other knows the real you,
not being able to be your real self, making the same mistakes your parents made
etc. In such a case, you will need to work on your fears – especially
with your past experiences.
Some last words
1. Trust in divine wisdom.
You have exactly what you need at this time to create happiness and growth.
2. Free yourself from fears
of being alone. Learn to enjoy being with your self.
3. Free yourself from the
fears of being in a relationship.
4. You are equally worthy
and safe in and out of a relationship.
5. You can be equally happy
in and out of a relationship.
6. Learn to be happy with
your present situation so that you can move on to the next. (This is often a
prerequisite to creating a relationship.)
7. Remember that a few years
of a real Conscious Love Relationship is preferable to fifty years of a
relationship based on security and self-worth needs.
8. Attend to your Inner
Preparation: a. Clarify Values, Needs, Life Style (The questionnaire will
help.) b. Learn To Love Your Self: c. Develop Inner Security.
9. Place your energy an thought form into the universe by: a. Knowing what you
want – as specifically as possible. b. Believing that you deserve to have
what you want. c. Being open to accepting it. d. Let
go and know in peace that the universe gives you in each moment what you need
to be happy and grow. e. Be at peace, knowing that the universe will give you
in the future whatever is best for you as a soul in the evolutionary process.
