Ask Dele | Your Straight-Talking Agony Uncle
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| Question: Dear Dele,I'm 19 and three months pregnant, I don't think I could stand having an abortion and I can't tell my parents because they'd kill me. My boyfriend has dumped me and says it's my problem not his. I've nobody to turn to. What can I do? J-Girl |
| Answer: Dear J-girl, If you intend to keep the pregnancy then your mum's bound to know sometime soon anyway as your tummy's bound to grow bigger, doh. Save yourself the trauma of keeping such a secret as you will only prolong your suffering. Confide in your mother as she is wiser and will give you the advice and support that you need. Having a baby is a serious affair and not one to be taken lightly. You cannot force a child on a man who want's nothing to do with you especially when he has made that quite clear. You should also think about your future and the struggles of bringing up a child on your own. As soon as you read this message, get your arse off to your mother's and spill your guts, the earlier the better as you seem confused about the next line of action. P.S The next time you consider having sex, use protection. It's high time that women realised that having a man's child would not neccesarily make him stay with you. It might even drive him away. It is something that should be agreed to by both consenting adults. |
| Asked: March 8th, 2009 | Answered: March 8th, 2009 | Link to this question? ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |
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| Question: Dear Dele,I have a serious problem that is eating my guts out. I am a 28 year old male virgin without any hope of getting laid. My problem is that i have a very small penis(3 inches) which makes me shy away from sex. It all started when i was about 17years old. I met a girl at a party and we spent all night kissing. I got to her house the next day and we decided to have sex. When I undressed and see saw my penis, she burst out laughing asking me what that was. She put her clothes back on and I have never gone all the way since then as I am too ashamed to reveal my little secret. I have had girlfriends but shy away before it gets to full sex. I don't know what to do!Troubled Man |
| Answer: Dear troubled man, I feel your plight brother, 3 inches is way below the average size for a mans penis. Rather than sit down and gloat while life passes you by you need to deal with the situation. i have heard of different male enhancing pills, penile pumps,weights etc but there is no clear evidence that they actually work. The most dramatic solution may be surgery, which can be painful and maybe add an inch or two with associated risks of infection. On the other hand, you could just live with it and look for a girl that would accept you for who you are and not the size of your dick. There is someone for everyone but you just have to be patient. When you meet someone, get to be friend first and with time you can coinfide in them before you get physical. This way they'll stay if they love you and wouldn't be too shocked when you finally disrobe. Keep your head up my man, there's more to life than sex. Believe me! Would I lie to you? lol. |
| Asked: February 28th, 2009 | Answered: February 28th, 2009 | Link to this question? ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |
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| Question: Dear Dele, I am in a relationship things are going smoothly but our sex life is nothing to write home about. My boyfriend only want get in and get out, no kissing, or foreplay of any sort.He makes me feel like a prostitute sometimes. I am confused, i dont know how to recity this problem. I really love him.... |
| Answer: Fret not my sister! The fact that other parts of your relationship are going great means that the relationship is sustainable and deep rooted. Many relationships fall apart when the passion dwindles simply because they are based on sex and nothing else. Sex is very important in a relationship(very important) especially to men but companionship and compatibility carry almost equal weight. The hard fact is that with time, the fire and sexual passion you once shared begins to burn out and may eventually be reduced to a glowing splint or even worse may be put out. The solution to this is to try and rekindle and ignite this flame. You need to make yourself attractive to him once again. Do you remember how sexy you used to look when you just met? That you see is where you need to be. Try looking sexy for bed, invest in new sexy lingerie, if possible take a shower before bedtime. A sweet smelling meal is always more appealing and tickles the senses. Be more adventurous, try new positions and places. When was the last time you guys had a quickie in the back sit? The back row at your local cinema? The bathroom? The kitchen work top? Looking sexy will make you feel sexy and more confident . He will notice this and pay more attention. Try to break the habit of attempting to have sex only at bedtime when you are both tired and want nothing more than a good nights rest. Take care of yourself,look sexy, stay conident,smell sweet and you will have him gagging for it. |
| Asked: February 17th, 2009 | Answered: February 25th, 2009 | Link to this question? ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |
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| Question: Dear dele i want to know how i can make a man fall in love with me.Helen 28 from london |
| Answer: There are two things to make a man love you more (a) Be yourself (b) Make him feel important and respected. Typically men don't express their feelings as openly and directly as women do. A woman will tell a man she loves him and expect to hear the same thing back. If he doesn't respond that way each time she utters those words, she'll begin to wonder what he's thinking and feeling. You may think your man doesn't love you nearly as deeply as you love him, but just bear in mind that even if he's not expressing it verbally as often, that's not a reflection of what he truly feels. One misconception that some women have is that holding out on intimacy is one approach to take if you are trying to rekindle his passion. Men view intimacy as very connected to love (take this very seriously). I'm not just saying this because I'm a man. If they aren't being intimate with the woman in their life, there's a chance they won't feel as close to her. If you want to make him love you more, don't always refuse his advances. He'll feel rejected and that's the last thing either of you want. A man needs to feel respected and in control. The man likes to be the dominant one in the relationship. He wants to be the one that you look up to and depend on. If you want to make him love you more, allow him to lead (at least make him think he is) and then reward him by being complimentary. Even when he is in the wrong, find a subtle and loving way to point out his mistakes. Quite a lot of men find it difficult to accept their faults and may continue to argue their point even after it's obvious that they are wrong. Let the argument rest, he has silently accepted his fault and will remember your words of wisdom the next time he is in that situation. If you expect him to acknowledge his mistake right there and then, you may hurt his ego or make him rebel and do exactly what you do not want him to do. Be yourself. If you try and change to please him, he's going to realize it and may be turned off by it. Be your own woman, keep your own interests and find your own passions. He'll love you for being an individual who knows exactly what she wants. You must have noticed that the first line of my answer reads 'things to make a man love you more' and not 'things to make a man love you'. The reason is that you cannot make a man love if he does not already. You can not make a man love you but you can make a man that loves you, love you even more. |
| Asked: February 10th, 2009 | Answered: February 12th, 2009 | Link to this question? ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |
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